To mutilate or not to mutilate ...that is the question.

The following keeps on happening when I meet men nowadays:

1. They are always younger than me.
2. They state immediately that they don't want a relationship, but then ask me out on a date.
3. They are all different and not tall dark and handsome (which was my standard before).
4. I end up spending the night with them (but not always reaching a home run).
5. I end up being their friend.

Why do I do this to myself? Is this the new form of self-mutilation?

I can confirm that if you do the above, guaranteed you will mutilate your heart and soul once again.

I know that I'm doing the above and yet I still keep on doing it. I met a guy. We flirted, we chatted, and we realised that we fancied each other. Just at the moment when the lightbulb flashed on for both of us, he told me he didn't want a relationship. Now he knows me and he knows that I am looking for a relationship so he wanted to make it clear to me which was fair enough and I respected him for that. But then he asked me out! I could have said no, but nope I had to say yes.

Admittedly, I fancied him, I was wondering what he was like underneath his clothes and I wanted to spend time with him alone away from the maddening crowd, but I should have said no. Instead I did the above 5 points and bam, suffered.

With self-mutilation I still have this (maybe misguided) belief that after all these dates and disasters that one of these guys will actually turn out to be the shining star instead of the rotten egg. Do I say no to all offers of dates to prevent my head being a mess afterwards, or do I keep on saying yes in the hope that maybe one day I will meet THE man?