It's the final...conundrum

I have resigned myself to the fact that He is not interested now. Why should he be? After all, he said he didn’t want a relationship. He made me wait 3 weeks to see him after the first date and he got me. What more is there to have? Even if I act hardball now, which I’m trying really hard to do right now, the lack of messages, calls, tweets, anything, is a clear sign that he has had his fun and is now moving on. It hurts.

What adds more grief to this moment is that the last guy I was seeing is now having a proper relationship with what I can only describe as a “girl”. It’s pissing me off that this guy who I really liked dumped me and gave me “I don’t want a relationship with any woman” line and is now with this girl.

Guys say they like that I’m intelligent, sexy and all that but they don’t want me for the long term. They go for the silly little pathetic creatures that line this earth. So I have to ask what’s wrong with me? I know I can be too serious for my own good and I can’t be a silly little moron, but is that a bad thing? I am blunt, I am sexual, I am intelligent, but it freaks men out.

I always end up alone. It sounds pathetic but it’s true. I have to pick myself up, be strong and not show the hurt every day. It’s hard work but that’s the life I lead now.

I also figured out that guys love the strong looking me. However, when they are alone with me and see my eyes, they see that I actually have emotions flowing through these chocolate brown eyes. I’m not the cold hearted bitch seen in the daytime.

I don’t know if I can take the rejection anymore but I love the excitement of meeting a new man and flirting and getting to know him. I just don’t like the bit when they know nothing about me but presume they do and then run away.

How do I solve this conundrum? Be alone, or go through the maze of men to find someone decent?