The Confusing Threesome

3 men in my life and god what a frickin nightmare.

This is the update right now...

Man No 1
I have realised that the man I dated at the end of the year was the straw that broke the back. He made me snap. It was not him persay. It was just unfortunate that he was the one who was with me at that time. His selfishness, ego, childishness, wanting to not be in a relationship just made me snap. I fell for him more than I should have but you can't help when you go mental.

However, he is an idiot and when he talks above me and others I get severely irritated. But that doesn't stop my mind being jealous now that he is going with a new girl. He is besotted with her and its evident. They are good together. They are both children and they are both silly. I could never be like that and my head knows that but that doesn't stop the anger and pain. There is the hurt that why wasn't it me. I keep on questioning myself: why didn't he follow me around like a pathetic puppy dog, why didn't he look at me like that, why didn't he tweet that everything i do makes him happy??? Why why why? I could keep on asking but the reality of the situation is that I was too serious, too grown up and too intolerant of his stupidity.

I accept it and eventually I will stop being a bitch to the girl on twitter and when I see her (but really she is a child!). She is perfect for him. So moving on from that I realise I don't want to be with him and in all reality I don't want him even as a friend.

Man No 2

Eccentric man and I have been dating for the last few weeks. Well dating is stretching it a bit far. There have been no dates instigated by him, but yet we keep meeting and he still keeps on kissing me and looking at me in a way that makes me want to rip his clothes off and jump on him. He's accused me of being clingy but I don't feel that way with him. Yes I like his company and I still want to have that one long night of passionate sex with him which has been lacking the two times we have been together but clingy!? What is clingy anyway. The need to want to see someone and be in their company. Is that clingy? It's not like I call him or tweet him. He has said he wants me only for companionship and sex, but correct me if I am wrong but isn't that a dictionary definition of a relationship??

He's the one who asks me out all the time and then conveniently forgets to go through with the date. He has been childish as well chatting garbage about me. (I seem to be attracting these children right now. Maybe its the motherly nature in me.)

I've got a break from him for now but I'm not holding my breath for him to improve in persona when I see him again. Really I should run, run for the hills and not look back at his chiseled good looks...but he's like a drug I cannot resist.

Man No 3

My ex has been asking me out for weeks. I have been resisting and saying no or other circumstances have come up resulting in him not turning up. But we finally met when I was at my lowest point the other week. His kindness and tolerance of my pmt fuelled rants showed me what kind of man he could be. He wanted to be with me. No negativity, no nastiness. He loves me still. I could see it in his eyes and his touch. I saw him again the other night and we relived our time together but there was something missing from me.

I don't love him like I once did and there were things about him that irritated the shit out of me especially in the morning. But he talked about us and our future. On top of that all he has contacted me since and checks up on me all the time. Could he be the one. Should I accept him back in my life despite his flaws? Will he hurt me again? Of course he could. Our breakup was so nonsensical that even both parents couldn't understand it and talk him out of it.

Confusion is not the word to describe my mixed feelings on the guys about. For 1 I should do a Clark Gable and not give a damn and I will start from now, but then there is still 2 and 3. Do I pursue the man who has said he wants me for sex and fun or pursue the man who loves me and wants me in his life now.

Why is life never easy for me?